Saturday, August 31, 2013

HOUSE OF STRENGTH: SHIA LEBEOUF




What do Shia Islam and Shia Lebeouf have in common?  . . . A thirst for strength and a love of muscle?

No.

They share the same name.  That's the answer.

Shia L is hot and all but he's hardly a muscle queen.  That hasn't stopped generations of Shia Muslims from training their bodies (and minds) to defend the Hidden Imam (and now the Islamic Republic of Iran) thru the ancient art of body building.  If you thought Christians were the only ones to stumble on the eccentric curiousity of holy hammer curls, you'd be wrong.

I was sitting in bed watching Netflix, like I do most Friday nights, this time "Pilgrimage to Karbala", a documentary profiling several bus-loads of Iranian pilgrims on a deadly journey across the Iraqi border to the holy shrine of Karbala, the site of Imam Hussein's brutal murder at the hands of the Evil Caliph Yazid, and up pops the Zoorkhaneh, or "House of Strength"--a type of gym really-- but also the site of a specific form of masculine, fraternal bonding that deploys giant wooden clubs, synchronized dancing and a fervent belief in building better bodies to combat spiritual warfare.  Right up my alley. . . My falafel alley.  You know, right near my hummus hole?  It's the alley that takes you straight to my brain.

;-)  


If you like nearly-unintelligible robotic translation-narration as much as I do, today's your lucky day: 




JUST TRAIN YOUR ASS OFF


All that stands between me and a "better me" is a Bible (and the willpower to read it).  This Youtube video may be the funniest thing I've seen in a long (trained-off) ass while, and yet . . . I also found it oddly compelling.  While I didn't even know it was possible to write an 8 minute score of nothin' but build-up, I still want nothing more than to be Mr. Heavyweight Christian after watching this.  I guess I also want to say, "Chill dudes.  We get it." 

But do we?

You know you got some fucked-up issues when you go to the bathroom to scrawl motivational body-building quotes on the wall and not a dick.

Respect, yo.

Friday, August 30, 2013

SOUTH POLE


My ice caps be melting.

Time for a dip in the pool.  Happy Labor Day weekend penguins!

Original photo courtesy of Gabe Ayala.  

ANIMAL PARTY


Scratch.

Gnaw.

Bite.

Maybe getting that macaque wasn't such a good idea after-all?  From the series "Animals" by photographer Ryan Mcginley.


















Thursday, August 29, 2013

BONERS FOR BOOKS: ALL PLAYERS


I need no extra help getting a boner for this one, photographer Rick Day's "All Players".  Special appreciation goes to BSD reader Andrew for the all-natural erection ASS-istance.  Believe it or not, "All Players" taught me an important lesson about myself: as much as I like dick (and there are A LOT of pretty dicks in this book), I am DEFINITELY an ass-man.  

Blurry laptop quality aside, this was my favorite photo in the book, evidenced below by a very eager Mr. Pee-purrs:




COLBY AS PSYCHOPATH?


Psychopath?  Or shy?

You be the judge.  To see what I mean, read my interview with Nightcharm's Mark Adnum on the introvert/exhibitionist conundrum that brings me close to the crevasse of crazy.*

HERE.


Orange Fanta fun courtesy of Gabe Ayala.  

* What can I say, I'm crazy for crevasse and crazy-ass boys, but that's another story . . . ;-)

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

GAME, STEPPED-UP

While I've certainly enjoyed all the Instagram-point-and-click-smartphone-selfies readers have thus far submitted to the Dick Portrait Contest (to win a copy of Justin Spring's Secret Historian), BSD reader "Chris" has just stepped up the game with his PDF entry, "Brothers".  Bring it boys (and squirrels)!

Be fore-warned: Pencils give me boners.  Handicraft WILL win extra points with the judges.  :-)

Submit . . . and receive your own circle-jerk critique . . .  HERE.

I SEE PENIS: COCKSICKLE


No.  Not "Cock and Sickle", the symbol of the International Cum-You-Must Sex Workers' Party, but a "cocksicle", the kind you lick (although I'd happily accept a "Cock and Sickle" submission for the Penis Portrait Contest.  wink.  wink.  :-)

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

(UN)HAPPY TRAILS


BSD reader Bruce found this amazing "I SEE PENIS" on Comedy Central.  The caption by Tosh.0 reads: "Take it all the way to the end and you'll reach Vagina Way.  If you hit Browntown you've gone too far."

I prefer this description:

"I walk this lonely road.
The only road that I have ever known."


In case you're curious, the road pictured is Route 61 in Centralia, Pennsylvania.  The least populated municipality in the state, Centralia has suffered severe economic hardship due to a notorious mine fire in 1962.  Believe it or not, the fire continues to smolder under the city's streets to this day.  

A place very similar to Centralia features prominantly in the BRILLIANT early 90's comedy "Nothing But Trouble" starring Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, John Candy and Demi Moore, in which a pair of wealthy New York snobs meet the wrath of an eccentric small-town judge and his posse of miscreants.  


More on the Centralia coal mine fire:


"Nothing But Trouble":

POSTERIZE ME PLEEEZE


"A Pandora's box of Freudian depravity"?  New Wave Hookers!?

What I wouldn't give for my own vintage porn poster.  Those were the days!

Courtesy of Nerve.com







Monday, August 26, 2013

INSPIRED


Just in case you needed inspiration for the penis portrait contest. . . :-)

BONER PORTRAITS FOR BOOKS: SECRET (SANTA) HISTORIAN


Grrrrrrr.

I owe a giant thank you and an equally giant apology to BSD reader AD who recently sent me a copy of "Secret Historian", the biography of "sexual renegade" Samuel Steward.  Unfortunately, another BSD reader, Blake, sent me his own personal copy a few weeks back.  I had the book listed on my Amazon Wish List, but failed to consider removing it after Blake sent me his own well-read and annotated copy.  Don't worry AD, I'll make sure to pass it forward.

How about this?  I'll mail the book to one lucky reader, but first you need to do something for me (actually two things).  Send me your best penis portrait.  You could draw my member of course, your own, or the penis of a friend.  I would also usually include "family" here as matter of default, but that may indeed go to far-- "Daddies" and "sons" naturally exempted.  I'd also accept hot twin brothers?  I'm open minded.  Just no kiddie cock, but that should go without saying.

So first, send me your dicks.

Second, vote for your favorite.  In a month's time, I'll gather up the finest selections (all of them) and present them for admiration (and judgement).  The winner gets a prize from a very special (not-so-secret) Santa.  ME!  :-)

Send your entries to bigshoediaries@gmail.com

Sunday, August 25, 2013

A THING OF BEAUTY: DP X 2


Ever since Gmail updated it's new format several weeks ago, all my emails from Cockyboys now go directly to a new folder called "Promotions", which I've quickly learned to ignore.  Sadly, this means I missed the launch date this past Tuesday for the final segment of "A Thing of Beauty".  How funny then that I should title a post "Free to Be Me" about a photographer capturing the feminine side of men the day AFTER the launch of my scene, also coincidentally called "Free To Be Me"?  I swear it wasn't intentional!  Not even a subconscious appropriation!  I didn't even know the title of the scene until I checked my "Promotions" folder earlier today.  

While I didn't necessarily find anything overtly "feminine" in my two hunky scene mates, I suppose it takes a certain degree of grace and finesse to accommodate two cocks in more than one hole.  Nuttin' wrong with that.  Free to be free indeed (except when you pay-- which helps me out):









 All this "DP"in' can really make a brother tired.  My peoples were built for the mountains of Transylvania (for real), not the blazing tropical sun of Oaxaca.  And yet, I was the only one to survive without serious sun burn (for which I am immensely proud).  :-)